We Are Not Amused

Part the Second

Mera Fitzgerald had made her merry way through the labyrinth of pretzel carts, balloon animal artists (Mera briefly wondered about reporting them to the Terminology Abuse Office) and pickle salesmen, arriving at the brightly coloured and thriving shoe district of The Bustling Metropolis (TBM from here on out). The obligatory bell above the door chimed politely, alerting the staff that there was a new customer in the shop for them to ignore. Mera found a Shoe that she liked (comfy, cute and shiny) and turned to ask a salesperson (author is currently to tired to care about enquiring as to their gender) for a size.

"Of course, Madame. Do you have your FRiZBE results?"

Mera looked politely puzzled. (Another learned skill)
"My what results?"

The Salesperson (We'll call them IT) looked slightly exasperated.
"Your FRiZBE result. It tells us how you relate to other FRiZes and BEs, so we can better serve you."

Mera tried to mask her disbelief, almost suceeding.
"I...uh, no. Sorry, I've never heard of the Fuzz-E test. "

"FRiZBE," IT corrected. "It's a Groundbreaking test, and fortunately only takes 15 minutes to complete. "

Mera was sceptical.
"Then I can buy some shoes?"

IT looked apalled at the idea.
"Of course not! You must also take the mandatory two hour result discussion! It would defeat the whole point, otherwise. "

Mera had had enough.
"My dear person, I don't give anyone two hours of my time. They must Earn it, and you are just not worthy. "

With that, Mera walked out of the store. This might be even worse than an Adventure; it might turn into an Ordeal. (In which case considerable amounts of chocolate and coffee would be required. )